I used to have strong notions against women from my country marrying men from another country. I would always second-guess their motives, and I had such a bigoted notion about interracial marriage. Today, I came across this article, and I was struck about a couple of things about my culture that had been disappointing me lately, and I am struggling to overcome.

If there is anything that I am acutely aware that plagues Filipinos, it’s the love of gossip and slander. Lately, I am going through a season in my walk with Jesus in which He is teaching me to consecrate my lips to Him. I learned that:

• Complaining is not just a “bad habit.” It is like bacteria: it propagates itself, especially when reinforced or “fed.”
• Telling your friend about an issue with another friend is not “dealing with the issue,” it is pure, plain, and wicked slander.
• The more you say “no” to gossip, the more the desire for it dies down.

In this article, it wasn’t the racism itself that I saw. Rather, it was the way people slandered each other that was more disturbing.

There are days when I wonder if other cultures had these same ills my culture has. I love my country and I love my people, don’t get me wrong. But it’s a true eye-opener when you realize how there is a sort of cannibalism among you and you realize that you were once, and sometimes are, still a part of that mess of verbal damage.

My epiphany that I was actually slandering my friends happened when my best friend had disappointedly remarked, “It’s pitiful, then. Satan was using you to slander me.” From that point on, my eyes started opening up to what great evil I had sowed by complaining about, or even just “stating facts,” about my friends.

Don’t get me wrong, this is an uphill climb for me too. It is a daily, moment-by-moment decision that I have to take, not to complain about another person, or to choose to not state the “facts” of friends’ pasts. I realized that I had become a big danger to my loved ones, and it was time to nip it in the bud.

So what should a person do in order to keep from slandering friends and family?

• Choose not to corroborate negative stories. If you are in a conversation denouncing a friend or a family member, choose to not add to the “facts.” Choose to stay silent. If it’s juicy, resist the temptation.
• When your friends or family entreat (more like seduce) you to tell the details of bad deals or whatever, choose not to glorify the request. Maneuver your way out of the conversation by a succinct “Let’s leave it at that.” Even if your mother is entreating you to tell more, discipline yourself not to damage another person.
• If you can start to, start to steer clear whenever you sense a slanderous conversation is about to start. Better not to hurt someone else than to take part in tearing that person to shreds, verbally.

Understand the power of your words. You cannot be irresponsible with your friends and family. If God spoke the world into being, do you not realize how powerful the spoken word is? Choose to speak life: positivity!

And lastly, remember that:

Small people talk about other people.
Average people talk about events.
Big people talk about IDEAS.

So, what kind of person are you? What kind of person do you want to be?

Photo Credits:

http://www.bizdevblog.com

I came across this blog post by Gadzooki colleague Jim and I was appalled at how our children are as wired as they are now.

Barely in their teens, children now have Friendster accounts, and a myriad of other online accounts. They brandish high-end cellular phones, and for them, the Asus eeePC, or the OLPC, is just another toy. At age 3, my best friend’s niece had beat her computer game scores… And to think my best friend has the IQ of a genius! And yes, she creams me every time at Pinball (think a score of 5M to 1M). Imagine that!

But what all this implies to me is something scary, even sinister.

In the days when I was posting less and being remiss in my tasks on SplashPressMedia, and just being plain incommunicado online, I was able to live an un-wired lifestyle. In those days, I realized the preciousness of being able to sleep on time. I realized that sunlight streaming through my window in the mornings are actually very nice.. And poignant, and just plain comforting.

I think our children would miss these if we just allow them to go run around with their cellular phones and laptops and other gadgets. I just pray that parents would wake up and realize that the TV should never be a babysitter. If your family has both man and wife working, I pray that you would be able to give the attention and the human contact your children would need.

I am thankful that I am in a business that allows me to work from home. Because through this, I would be able to ensure that the kids are fed, I could parcel out my time to be able to give them attention and even tutor them, and I could make sure that no one gets to watch TV for more than 4 hours a week. I could also shoo the kids out of the house to get some sunshine and play and make friends, and I could make sure that my kids won’t be online for longer than they should.

It’s a matter of knowing your family’s priorities, and how you want your kids to grow up. I think too much media is too much, and my evidence is that I and so many of my peers cannot get work done because they’re glued to YouTube or whatever has their attention at the moment.

It’s time to take a stand. I choose sunshine over Friendster. I choose sunshine over the latest soap opera. I choose to streamline my life, and my future family’s life, from media.
Photo Credits:

http://www.tcfroar.org

As children, most of us were fascinated by animals. Even girls used to like dogs, and some even liked frogs and snakes, at one point in our childhood.

Of late, I had been coming across posts about strange animals being discovered. Today, I came across this post on the most dangerous creatures on earth.

If you’ve been stung by a jellyfish on one of your frolics in the ocean and thought it the nastiest thing to have happened to you, I wonder how much nastier it would feel for a person who has stepped on that stone fish above?

According to the blog post where I found this list of scary animals, the sting from the stonefish’s spines is so painful, that those who have been stung “begged to have their limbs amputated rather than live with it [the needles, in their skin] for another moment.”

How painful would that have been, if victims would rather choose amputation over waiting for death.

Wait. Back up. If those are my choices, I’m never going into the ocean ever again!

Well, unless I can see through to the bottom, and I am sure that the beach had been “overly humanized” to the point that flora and fauna could no longer survive, I am thinking twice about going to the beach.

But if you and your family were looking forward to some sand and surf, you can take the following measures, in case of jellyfish “accidents.” I don’t think anyone would be stepping on some lethal stonefish anytime, right?

• Carry the following to the beach with you:
  • Activated Charcoal
  • Alcohol
  • Vinegar
  • Baking Soda
  • Vitamin C Capsules

These could help you deal with jellyfish stings. Activated charcoal is reportedly a poison antidote, which draws out the jellyfish venom and collects it on the skin. Alcohol to disinfect, while vinegar is a known remedy for the stings. Baking Soda also helps relieve the sting, while Vitamin C capsules are applied because of its acidic properties.

Hot water may relieve the pain, and according to the comments on this post, a heat blast from a hair dryer may arrest the venom.

But if you want to buy something specifically made for jellyfish stings, there is the Safe Sea lotion specifically made for protection against jellyfish stings.

Well, the sand and surf calls y’all now, I presume. Be safe!

Inspiration and Photo Credits:

http://www.darkroastedblend.com

Sometimes, we derive our significance from something good.. But not the best that God, the Author of Life, Life Himself, wants to offer us. Our sources of significance may be a relationship, family, or even career. While these are good sources of significance, they are not supposed to be THE main source of one’s significance.

Our friends, while they mean well, would not be the best judge for what we ought to do with our lives. While yes, they can give great advice, they do not know the main blueprint of our lives. We cannot rely on friends to make the right choices for us, or point us to the right direction. Their walk through life is wholly different from our own.

Our family, while they truly love us, cannot be the best source of our significance either. True, parents would know the best for their children… While they are still not adults. As an adult, life may bring you to places that your parents could not comprehend the sacrifices you need to make, or why you chose that path over another.

Take for example, Will Smith. While his mother, a Carnegie Mellon University graduate, had hoped for her son to go to university himself and “make something out of himself” after getting a college degree, he wouldn’t be the Will Smith we know today if he had conformed to what his mom thought he should become.

This is not saying that children should rebel against their parents. It is true that in the Bible, it does say that honoring one’s father and mother is the prerequisite to living long in God’s promised land, or God’s destiny, for oneself. Yet you cannot deny that Abraham was told to leave his father’s house and the comforts of his home in Ur of the Chaldeans, in order to search for his own destiny in Canaan.

If not for Abraham’s obedience to God, we won’t have Israel, we won’t have King David, and we won’t have Jesus.

Sometimes, it takes gumption to follow God’s will for us, instead of following the rest of the world’s will for us. Painful as it may be for parents to have their children go against their own plans for these, sometimes, as an individual, you have to make a choice and see for yourself whether your parents’ advice for you would be better than the stirrings of your inner voice.

And yet, you won’t have the kind of wisdom that Abraham had, unless you get to know the God he worshiped.

True, people claim that there are different ways to see/reach God. I’ve been down that road before. But Jesus, being the Way, the Truth, and the Life, was the only one who had been able to revive me from being just another dead girl walking, so to speak.

As I got to know Him more, I was more and more aware of what He had wanted for my life, and I became more and more sure that this, is the right path I’m taking.

Photo Credits:

http://www.lifedynamix.com

This post is a continuation of my Cliff’s Notes for Who Moved My Cheese, the book by Spencer Johnson, M.D. (also the Author of The One Minute Manager). Hope you enjoy my annotations of the rest of the principles!

Principle # 5:

Move With the Cheese.

(Change.)

As you spot and adapt to change, you should not only prepare for the steps to change, you have to MOVE: walk or run with the change. Be a mover, and not a passive spectator of life.

Principle # 6:

Savor the Adventure and Enjoy the Taste of New Cheese.

(Enjoy change.)

Whether you were forced to change, or you embraced the change, you have no other choice but to embrace and ENJOY the change. If you keep being obstinate about changing, you won’t be able to enjoy the change, and the rest of life. Instead of having an easier life because you embrace joy and the blessings of change, you look at the change as an adversary; something that would only steal whatever enjoyment you could have had for the blessings that the change brought you.

Principle # 7:

They Keep Moving the Cheese.
(Be ready to change quickly and enjoy it again and again!)

Let’s face it, life is in constant flux. The only thing that will help you deal with life with a lighter heart and a better attitude is your own choice to keep a good attitude, no matter what the circumstance. As the Bible guy discovered in his “research” for the book “The Year of Living Biblically,” when he decided to cut the anger and the cussing, he noticed how the positivity fed on itself. To me, that is only empirical evidence that whatever is encouraged will become a permanent habit.

So if your cheese is starting to run away from you, start moving: change your attitudes towards change, and you will be able to embrace your life with greater joy!

Photo Credits Throughout the Who Moved My Cheese Series:

http://blog2beton.wordpress.com/

http://homepages.ius.edu/SRICKARD/

http://sillyfunstuff.wordpress.com/

http://lauramartinez.wordpress.com

Finally, after quite some time, I give you the Cliff’s Notes for “Who Moved My Cheese”!

MY cheese was moved quite so often lately, so I apologize for delivering this only now..

Last post, I had talked about Who Moved My Cheese in a general way. Today, I will give you a Cliff’s Notes version of Who Moved My Cheese. No, I won’t give you spoilers on the parable itself. But I will give you the main principles of the book. If you want to enjoy the childlike beauty of the Who Moved My Cheese parable, you better grab the book for yourself.

So, ready for a few life-changing lessons now?

(Take note that Cheese can mean: a job, a relationship, or anything that is a source of security or comfort.)

Principle # 1:

They Keep Moving the Cheese.
(Change happens.)

Quite a lot of people mouth that change is the only constant in life. I believe in that adage, because there has been so much change in the past five years alone. The trick to not becoming a “dinosaur” is… To read through the rest of the article. :p

Principle # 2:

Get Ready for the Cheese to Move.

(Anticipate change.)

Instead of letting change blind-side you or catch you unaware, anticipate it, brace for it, by noting changes in your environment, in your circumstances, and even in trends.

Principle # 3:

Smell the Cheese Often so You Know When It’s Getting Old.
(Monitor Change.)

Though it seems hard to be on the constant lookout for change, you have no other choice. If you read through the book, you will understand why you need to be on the lookout for change. You cannot allow change to overtake you just like that, or else you will be caught unawares and you might only be too surprised to realize that life had taken over, all of a sudden.

Principle # 4:

The Quicker You Let Go of Old Cheese, the Sooner You Can Enjoy New Cheese.
(Adapt to change quickly.)

The more you cling to your “old cheese,” (an old job, old attitudes, habits and patterns, etc.), the more that your transition to the “new cheese” would become difficult for you. The sooner you can learn to let go, the easier and quicker your transition to embracing the “new cheese.”

(The rest on the next post..)

When you think of the word “significance,” what comes into your mind? Do you equate significance with self-worth? Pleasing your figures of authority? Money? Wealth? A thriving career?

A lot of people define “significance” as being able to fulfill their parents’ dreams for themselves. These people think in terms of becoming a doctor, a businessman, or some such other career that they believe would please their parents.

But what if you, as an individual would pursue these, and in the end, would come up with nothing to show for your efforts? What if, by the time you wake up from your career-chasing haze, you would realize that you are no emptier from the other person who chased after material things?

Man’s search for significance is rooted in that God-given desire to mean something. The only question is, “To whom/what should we mean something to?”

Some people derive meaning from leaving a legacy, a name for him/herself. From being the next Bill or Melinda Gates, who have left a mark in thousands of people’s lives through their benevolence. But what if your humanitarian efforts won’t dispel the nagging feeling that you should be living for something bigger?

That’s where faith and a relationship with God comes in. How can you be sure that your efforts would have eternal relevance or significance, unless you would know what God really plans for you? And how would you know how your God thinks, unless you know Him?

There are people who climb up the corporate ladder, get promotions left and right, get indisputably wealthy, then in the middle of their corporate-conquering efforts, a fire, a flood, a stock market crash wrecks everything they’ve built their lives around.

People can easily fool themselves into believing that there is no God to live for. That there would be no afterlife, that all that there is to life is the next party or the next gadget. I hope none of us wakes up one day to shambles of what’s left of a life, with nothing to cling to, because we have decided to forsake our God.

Photo Credits:

http://www.thesolvents.net

There is one thing that saddens me about our generation, and this is the seemingly extreme materialism that we have. A generation back, our parents had toiled in order for us to experience the comforts that they themselves have missed out on. But today, the average yuppie works… To buy the next iPod, the next digicam, the latest and greatest laptop.

While there is totally nothing wrong with being able to enjoy the fruits of one’s labor, and for all I know, like in my country, these young adults deserve their creature comforts too, because these young ones are the type who actually support their families or siblings, and put them through college.

But there is something wrong when people focus all their energies on these “creature comforts.” Then there is something grossly wrong when people even turn to credit cards in order to fuel these wants.

This is Part 2 of my Search for Significance series. As you may have noted already, this post deals with the side of us that searches for significance in stuff: in material objects.

I used to bite into that materialistic apple before. When I would go online, I would be hanging out on tech websites and fashion websites… Until I realized that life was so much more than the next gadget. Life is all about relationships, NOT stuff.

Sure, there are times when gadgets, when wants like these could prove to be a need. Like in our field, it’s nice when there are photos to accompany our stories. It’s nice when there are gadgets like these to make a blogger’s life easier.

But when these gadgets become the be-all and end-all of a person’s existence, that’s when one should start to question one’s motives for the consumerism.

Do I buy these because I derive my own significance from these?

Am I incurring debt because of these things?

If I am, why do I chase after these?

At the end of the day, when a thief steals my stuff, would my world crumble?

If, through these questions you can pinpoint that you do have an unholy dependence, addiction, or, to brutalize the blow further, idolatry to these material things, would you know how to cope with the realization that “Yes, my life is empty and centered on stuff”?

If you can get off your realization and wean yourself off stuff and back into what life is all about: relationships, friendships, family, then by all means, take that first step.

Maybe your friends and family were just waiting for you to wake up from your materialistic haze.

Photo Credits:

http://www.blavish.com

My own journey for my search for significance started in high school, when I would challenge my teachers about the purpose of needing to study Algebra, or Calculus, or some other such subject that didn’t seem to be important to real life, the one that people live after college.

I mean, at that time, I noticed that my parents didn’t even know the kind of Algebra that we were going through anymore. I know that my mother was into Accounting, being a manager of a hog farmers’ cooperative, and she and my father had had Algebra when they were younger, but nothing prepared them for the kind of Algebra that I was encountering on a daily basis. It was then that I had started to wonder whether the training I was getting from school was adequate for real life.

I just had to know the purpose of the stuff I was doing. Was there an end to all this? What is the purpose of life?

I had hated seeing how people worked to survive, then at the end of the day, feel so empty, because they didn’t live their lives with an end in mind. They just worked and worked and worked… To live. People complained about their poverty, their lack, and what I could see was that the lack was internal. Some of these people were materially wealthy, and yet… They are so poor in terms of the real wealth of life.

For me, life’s gems and richness are based on the richness of your relationships with people. To the extent that you can love someone, and are loved in return, to the depth of how lives were touched by you… That is how wealthy you are.

I finally found my purpose when I committed my life to Jesus in 2003. I had prayed the Sinner’s Prayer when I was ten, and I had a knowledge of who He is. But to commit my life for His purposes, that only happened in 2003. From that moment on, no matter how tough the journey had become at times, I was able to carry the most extreme of duress, simply because I knew that there was an objective to everything I was experiencing.

Maybe you won’t agree with me, because you tried religion and all you got out of it was heartache and more. But I guess the only thing I could attest to was the fact that with Jesus… I finally learned how to love.

This will be a series of articles on a person’s significance and the sources from where he or she derives it. Watch out for more!

Photo Credits:

http://libizblog.wordpress.com/

I had made the mistake of overworking myself for one whole week monthly then be depressed and exhausted for three weeks a month, in the past. Then just right now, after having my mid-work Quiet Time (after finishing my February BlogSearchEngine.com posts), I read from 1 Kings 19:7:

“Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.”

The context is 1 Kings 19:1-18, where Elijah fled from Jezebel’s* wrath. Elijah was given food twice. After he was given food the first time, he “lay down again,” then the angel woke him up again to feed him a second time.

For the past two days, I had done nothing but cook for people, hang out with them, and clean my room. I woke up loathing myself a bit, because it seemed like I wasn’t doing anything right, because I had started my workweek on a Wednesday, as always.

But this verse vindicated me, because I felt that God was telling me to cut myself some slack; I did have a rough season, after all, and I did need a couple of days to kick back. The two-time feeding was significant to me, because I did not work for two days straight. Coincidence?

But anyway, to all the OC (obsessive-compulsive), Bree Van deKamp types out there, this would be another reason for you to wash your hands again with 70 proof Ethyl Alcohol: any form of rest seems to be abhorrent to the perfectionistic yet overworked woman of the New Millennium. But then, I may well be overstating things. As for me, I take comfort in these verses… And the knowledge that God rested on the 7th day. :p

*Jezebel is the wife of King Ahab of Israel in the Old Testament. She is the former Sidonian Princess who led Israel into Baal worship.

Photo credits:

Overworked work junkie

Overworked lady