Reconciliations heal the soul. Strife and tension never was anyone’s cup of tea. I know that most people seem to be able to stand decades of their lifetimes bitter, angry, and unforgiving of the people who have hurt them, but I am of the belief that unforgiveness and anger should never be the hallmark of one’s existence.
I had been an angry, irritable and impatient cat for most of my life. Just recently, I had to cough out a “hairball,” so to speak. I had a chip on my shoulder, and I never even realized it, till the day things escalated and led to my coughing out of that hairball.
When I was able to cough out the hairball of anger, by having a dialogue with the people who hurt me most deeply, my view of the world changed drastically. Prior to the finally honest, and ultimately forgiving and healing dialogue with those key people, I had been living my life with a skewed perception of the world. After coughing out that hairball of hurt and anger, after having confronted those people, I believe we are on the road to healing.
While Jay had mentioned that medical studies had concluded that catharsis and just “letting it all out” was a great way of dealing with anger, I, on the other hand, would disagree with that concept, because I believe that whenever you get hurt, you only had to forgive the person, and you would be released from the ball of hurt, anger and pain that would eventually consume you if you nurse all that hurt and ruminate on it.
I have no solid evidence to back me up right now, just pure and thick experiential, first-hand conclusions. Forgiving the people who hurt me and who have unwittingly helped me become bitter has allowed me to live a lighter life. Sure I still get hurt, I still feel pain when people don’t treat me well, but there is nothing that forgiveness won’t be able to cure. Sometimes, you may have to deal with matters through a calm and objective confrontation and/or dialogue, sometimes, just declaring the person forgiven would work wonders.
So no, I do not believe in “letting it all out.” I believe in choosing peace. You need not feel like you’ve done your enemy a favor by forgiving him or her, but you would do yourself a favor by forgiving your offender.
It’s one of the paradoxes of life. And though I may not understand it, it helps me live my life better. 🙂