Will her presence in a morgue make dead people wish they were alive? Or will they be thankful they were already dead?
That’s the questions that the dead will have to answer once Lindsay Lohan complies with the latest punishment meted on her by law for misdemeanor drunken driving – a visit to the morgue in June this year.
In an effort to drive into Lohan’s brains the potentially fatal consequences of drinking and driving, a Los Angeles court sentenced her to spend two, four-hour days in a morgue. After that, she’ll spend two days working in an emergency room.
The 21-year-old actress reached a plea agreement in August based on charges from two separate Driving-Under the-Influence (DUI) incidents, one in May in Beverly Hills and one in July in Santa Monica.
Morgue duty will certainly be a ghoulish letdown from Lohan’s usual world of glitz and glamor. On Wednesday last week, she stole the show at the Hollywood premiere for “Cloverfield,” where she shone in a black Hervé Léger cocktail dress.
The morgue visits “include a walk-through of the service floor where autopsies are taking place along with the processing of the deceased. They also wind up seeing deceased people in our crypt,” Los Angeles County Coroner’s Assistant Chief Ed Winter said.
The coroner’s office conducts 20 to 30 autopsies a day. What they see is “whatever’s going on at the time, whether it be a victim of a homicide or suicide, a traffic accident or a natural death with no doctor,” Winter said. “It’s to show ‘em what reality is.”
As to the probable answers to the questions I posed above, perhaps the promiscuous among the dead could want to rise up to see whether Lindsay’s “frontal bulge” is real. But those who would rather not be annoyed by the presence of one of Hollywood’s most controversial young stars, they would probably smile that Cheshire cat’s smile of contentment and say to themselves, “Ah, thank God, I’m not alive to endure her presence!”
(Photo caption: Lindsay Lohan looks glamorous at the Los Angeles premiere of the US monster film “Cloverfield” at the Paramount Pictures’ lot.)