Will her presence in a morgue make dead people wish they were alive? Or will they be thankful they were already dead?
Thatâ€™s the questions that the dead will have to answer once Lindsay Lohan complies with the latest punishment meted on her by law for misdemeanor drunken driving â€“ a visit to the morgue in June this year.
In an effort to drive into Lohanâ€™s brains the potentially fatal consequences of drinking and driving, a Los Angeles court sentenced her to spend two, four-hour days in a morgue. After that, sheâ€™ll spend two days working in an emergency room.
The 21-year-old actress reached a plea agreement in August based on charges from two separate Driving-Under the-Influence (DUI) incidents, one in May in Beverly Hills and one in July in Santa Monica.
Morgue duty will certainly be a ghoulish letdown from Lohanâ€™s usual world of glitz and glamor. On Wednesday last week, she stole the show at the Hollywood premiere for â€œCloverfield,â€ where she shone in a black HervÃ© LÃ©ger cocktail dress.
The morgue visits â€œinclude a walk-through of the service floor where autopsies are taking place along with the processing of the deceased. They also wind up seeing deceased people in our crypt,â€ Los Angeles County Coronerâ€™s Assistant Chief Ed Winter said.
The coronerâ€™s office conducts 20 to 30 autopsies a day. What they see is â€œwhateverâ€™s going on at the time, whether it be a victim of a homicide or suicide, a traffic accident or a natural death with no doctor,â€ Winter said. â€œItâ€™s to show â€˜em what reality is.â€
As to the probable answers to the questions I posed above, perhaps the promiscuous among the dead could want to rise up to see whether Lindsayâ€™s â€œfrontal bulgeâ€ is real. But those who would rather not be annoyed by the presence of one of Hollywoodâ€™s most controversial young stars, they would probably smile that Cheshire catâ€™s smile of contentment and say to themselves, â€œAh, thank God, Iâ€™m not alive to endure her presence!â€
(Photo caption: Lindsay Lohan looks glamorous at the Los Angeles premiere of the US monster film “Cloverfield” at the Paramount Pictures’ lot.)