I didn’t mean to make a Froodee post today but I just couldn’t resist the Fatal Attraction trailer. I think it speaks to all the women with loose screws and Borderline Personality Disorder tendencies, don’t you think?
Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by “emotional dysregulation” (in other words, emotional cholera or crazy haywire feelings :p). It is also characterized by an intense attachment to relationships, while being ambivalent at the same time.
Glenn Close reminded me so much of some traits I used to exhibit; I’ve since overcome them, but it was scary back when I was still as psycho as she is in the movie.
Yes, this is just another ramble. But I also aim to inform you, too.
While you may think that insanity is an alien concept and that “it will never happen to me (you),” it was a scary experience for me to actually see snippets of myself in the character that Glenn Close had played.
Of course you won’t see me stalking some guy to the degree that she did, but I did have an obsession for a couple of men that bordered on being stalker-ish.
What scares me is not the fact that she’s obsessed with, or stalking the guy, in itself. What scares me more is the unholy need that she had for the object of her obsession.
I realized, after needing all those men so deeply, that it was sheer folly on my part. Rather than needing to get love from them, I should have just set my sights elsewhere. Like need love from God.
The reason why I, and all the other Fatal Attraction-eque women out there cling so tightly to “our” men, even if it means breaking all taboos and destroying our very selves is that, at our very core, we are in so deep need of love, but these men cannot fill that need, because there is only so much love that a human being can provide. If a person has nothing to get love from, there would always be a limit to what he or she can give. He or she will tire of the other person, he/she will get “burned out” of the relationship, and what used to be a sweet affair now turns into a bitter, fatal, attraction.
I know, this may seem so religious, but that’s the thing, it’s not about being religious. It’s being with God, cultivating a relationship with Him, and allowing yourself to be loved by Him. I like absorbing His love. His love is a love that will never be quenched. So I can be as obsessed with Him as much as I want, and I won’t be in danger of harming Him… Or me.. In a fatal attraction that is actually nothing else but love and lust lumped in an ugly, dirty heap.
I wish I knew God then, and took love from Him rather than the men I chased after. It would have saved me from so much heartache. But as it is, I am glad I know Him now. 🙂