I had never been more exhausted in my entire life. I had always thought that I would thrive under severe stress, but when the stressor includes lack, anxieties about the future, much too many disappointing encounters or protracted plans, and the notion that you have just way too many backlogs, anyone going through all the things I am going through would normally crumble. And I guess, for once, I am finally normal. Because I crumbled.
I was not used to having a “day” job. Neither was I used to needing to fragment my days into chunks/blocks of time just so I could get things done. Neither are my feet used to doing all that walking, after so many months. Thus, my pretty and soft feet are now breeding calluses, after needing to walk all those miles just to be able to gather the requirements for compliance for my new “day” job.
So after a week of erratic sleep, mishandled commitments and so much more, I finally went ballistic last night. Well all the stress of working in a highly structured environment such as a call center just got to me, and I finally crumbled. But not before two tumblers worth of Nescafé coffee sent me over the edge.
My system is just not compatible with Nescafé coffee. I drink a local brand, San Mig Coffee, because it does not interfere with my system. I thought I could handle things last night. Alas and alack, I wasn’t able to. Thus I got me an anxiety attack of sorts, and I had to stay home before I did something stupid last night.
So my call center career is hanging on the balance right now, and even then, I am already gearing on, well, shifting gears. I just miss typing so much and “giving birth” to new articles that the first draft of this article was created, typing my boredom away on a company computer just because I was so damned jittery and anxious and bored and just basically stir-crazy that moment.
So while the scales are teetering for my call center career today, I shall skip off to the sunset and plot my entry into the mainstream writing world. :p